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27 Mar 2007 JTFish

Vampire lolis wearing nekomimi? Genius Pure Genius

So I’ve had multiple complaints about the lack of actual moe and gar in my last posts (and by multiple I mean one and by last posts I mean last post). So I’ve decided to submerge you ungrateful bastards with a tsunami of moe. Seriously you guys should be more grateful, here I am working my ass off to spread the word of the one and only true goddess Suzumiya Haruhi -blessings be upon her name- and all you guys do is complain. Anyway this brings me to today’s series: Tsukuyomi -Moon Phase-.

Now the title of this post probably sums up what Tsukuyomi -Moon Phase- is about: Vampire lolis wearing nekomimi. Now I know what you’re thinking: “DEAR GOD SO MUCH MOE WILL DESTROY US ALL!!!”. Yes that’s exactly what I was thinking before watching it, but they actually managed to mix in enough things that will distract you from the deadly amounts of moe: a decent plot, badass fights, comedy and old people firin’ lazerz (but not shooping da woop).

Now before we proceed I suggest you keep some atropine auto-injectors handy in case you suffer from a bad case of moe overdose. Now I don’t know if atropine actually helps in case of moe overdose so Jam the auto-injector straight into your heart just to be on the safe side. That way it’ll spread around your body faster, I should know I’m a doctor you know.

Hazuki /Luna

Now for those of you who haven’t been reduced to a pudle like those nazis from raiders of the lost arc. I don’t even think I should comment this. I mean come on. And you know what? She’s Tsundere. That’s right Tsundere. Whoever designed her deserves a Goddamn Noble chemistry price. I mean he broke the basic chemistry law that dictates that you can’t mix too much awesome together else it turns really really bad. That’s one of two things I remember from chemistry lessons the other thing being: Water+Sodium=Awesome (note: the bigger the lump of sodium the farther away you’ll want to be, we’re talking realllllyyyyy far here).

Spoiler girl

Supporting cast

Did I say one Noble price? I meant 50, hell add in some Pulitzers, golden globes and Oscars for good measure.

And now it’s time for the gar.

Grandpa

Now this guy is probably the most badass old guy ever. He can bust some cool ass moves and fire friggin’ lazerz. I wouldn’t even joke about putting him in a home when around him, he’d probably go Steven Seagal on your ass. And if you’ve ever seen Marked for Death you know why you wouldn’t want that to happen.

Besides all the moe Tsukuyomi -Moon phase- also has a pretty awesome OP and ED you should look it up on youtube for your own good. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to call an ambulance because injecting that atropine directly into my heart probably wasn’t that sma…

25 Mar 2007 JTFish

PS3’s are freaking heavy

As you may or may not know the PS3 was launched 2 days ago in Europe. Needless to say I had to get one. Why? Because I love getting systems on launch. There’s just something satisfying from preventing people to get something they really want. That’s why I got 2 of them. Seriously. What? I’m not kidding! OK OK, that second one wasn’t for me. Anyway right now you’re probably thinking: “that guy is such a PS3 fanboy”. Well I’ll have you know I also bought a Nintendo WRYYYYYYYYYYYYY MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA ZA WARUDO…*COUGH*… sorry force of habit. As I was saying. I also bought a Nintendo Wii on launch. On the other hand I didn’t buy an Xbox360. Why? The Xbox360 is selling like crap in Japan and I mostly play Japanese games, mostly RPG’s. Also contributing to another Microsoft monopoly is retarded, you Xbox owners are digging your own grave I tell you. Remember that time when they were market leader in the browser industry? Yeah as a web-developer I’d rather forget that period.

Aaaaaaaannyywaaaaayyy, it’s about a 10 minute walk from my home to the store so I decided to go on foot. Buying the PS3’s was pretty funny since I paid cash and went all Sean Connery on the clerk. Counting a shitload of bank notes results in an instant +12 charisma boost due to the suaveness of it. Now in retrospect going on foot was pretty stupid. One of those things weighs about 8 kg (SI rools Imperial system drools). It had rained during the night so I couldn’t put the boxes on the ground without getting them wet. Those were the most painful 10 minutes in my life, one of those plastic handles even cut my finger.

To make matters worse, suddenly a horde of ninjas tried to steal the PS3’s. It was a long bloody battle, which was particularly hard because I couldn’t use my hands due to the PS3’s. Some random guy busted out an electric Guitar and started playing this awesome Solo during the fight. By then only the ninjas leader was left. And so we had this really epic battle and there was thunder and lightening and the Guitar guy went like *MEEDLY MEEDLY MEEDLY MEEDLY MEEDLY MEEDLY MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE* on his guitar. And then some other guy busted out his drums and went like *DUM DUM DUMDUMDUM DUM DUM DUMDUMDUM*. Right afterwards I said to that ninja guy: “You’re already dead” and punched him right in the head which exploded on contact. You should have seen how totally not made up the battle was.

Once I got home my arms were so tired I was too weak to open the box. Once I finaly managed to open the box hooking the PS3 up was a goddamn challenge. Carying those PS3’s resulted in a temporary loss of 20 dexterity points, so plugging those cables was next to impossible. After a long bloody struggle, which was particulary hard because the room was pretty dark and I couldn’t really see where the cable were supposed to go, I finnaly managed to turn it on.

After Configuring a few things, I inserted the game I had bought together with the PS3: Resistance Fall of man. Man this game is hard. The AI is totally kicking my ass, probably because I’m not really used to playing First person shooters especially on consoles. Anyway this blog is called moegar so it’s time for some sweet sweet moe check~~~

Hybrid

Weeeeeeellll…let’s see here…I suppose if you’re one of those Furries that go to conventions in those’s fursuits this is probably moe. I mean, you guys get off on everything.

Now if you’ll excuse me I’m gonna play videogames for several hours.

23 Mar 2007 JTFish

Uta Kata: cuteness overkill

Megumi Kadonosono and Keiji Gotoh’s character designs are too freaking awesome. They’re so freaking awesome they turn Uta Kata’s pretty weak plot SUPER GOOD. Then again, watching the main character slowly being corrupted by evil was pretty darn awesome. I’d say Uta Kata is less plot oriented and more of a character development type of ani…who am I kidding, Uta Kata is about the loli fanservice. I highly suggest you watch it, here’re some arguments to convince you.

BAM that should convince you, breasts always win debates. Hell, the day I’m running for office my campaign poster will be a picture of a pair of huge knockers. Oh cra, I forgot women can vote now. Well there goes my dream of legalizing killing people I don’t like ( I’m looking at you, cast of CSI). Anyway if you still aren’t convinced:

If that doesn’t convince you: Get off my site Ricky Martin. There, now that macGay-O is gone, it’s time for some sweet sweet moé check.

Tachibana Ichika

Look at that picture man, I shouldn’t even comment this. She’s just too damn cute, her design is godlike and watching her getting corrupted and power hungry is the best entertainment I’ve seen in months. Did I mention she’s into kinky stuff?

Don’t even ask.

Kuroki Manatsu

That’s it; I’m erecting (lawl erecting) a temple for Megumi Kadonosono and Keiji Gotoh right next to the one I made for Noiji Ito. They could have slacked off and only have made one super cute character. But then they decided to go overkill and made Manatsu. She’s just as cute as Ichika, her design is also godlike and to top it off she has lesbian tendencies.

Damn, first women are allowed to vote, then next thing you know they abolish slavery. Who’s gonna mine the gold for my Gotoh-Kadonosono Temple?

Now onto the supporting cast. I can’t remember their names and I can’t be bothered with looking them up so let’s just call them Tits, Pimp and let’s seeee here…Duncan macLoli.

Goddamnit man I think Gotoh is trying to kill me, everyone is just too damn cute. Pimp has this awesome back hand slap. Duncan is the mysterious wise girl type. And tits has well…tits.

Now you may be wondering, if this series has deadly amounts of cuteness how did I live through it? Taking a look at the gar should answer your question. Enter Ricky and Justin.

Goddamn these guys are gay. And I don’t mean that in the figurative way, these guys are literally gay. Every time I was about to die due to a cuteness overdose these guys showed up and played grab ass with each other. Now, of course they’re not really called Ricky and Justin. They’re just so damn gay, looking up their names would probably give me AIDS.

Why the hell are you still here? Go watch Uta Kata!

22 Mar 2007 JTFish

I loathe Kanon and Air

I hate Kanon and Air. I hate them with a passion. Don’t get me wrong they’re not bad, they’re just too damn sad. Especially Air, it’s like the guy that robs you and then punches you in the kidneys, proceeding to kick you in the liver. Air is the Goddamn saddest thing ever created… ever. Forget weapons of mass destruction, all you have to do is high-jack a TV-station and broadcast Air, you’ll knock the fighting spirit out of the entire country you’re trying to invade. This brings me to my theory: Key’s games are part of one big conspiracy on Japan’s part to invade the western world. Once we’re depressed enough, BAM Japanese coming in from everywhere. Mark my words…mark my words.

Aaaaaaaannyway on to Moe’ness. Let’s Start with Kanon; the recently broadcasted Kyoto Animation version.

Tsukimiya Ayu AKA zombie ghost girl?

I’m probably gonna get flamed for this but goddamn I hate her. She redefines annoying, if I hear Uguu~ one more time I swear i’m gonna…eerrr anyway, she’s also too damn loli for her own good. You heard me - too damn loli - she looks and acts like an 8 year old. While it may be quite moe if I were that Yuichi guy, I’d stab my eyes out for even thinking about going out with her. On the other hand she’s voiced by Yui Horie and that’s always a good thing. Speaking of Yui Horie, I’m beginning to suspect that she’s Santa Claus, she’s in everything these days. But that’s a theory I’ll share with you guys some other day. Mooooving on.

Minase Nayuki AKA mentally challenged girl

I’m just Kidding about the mentally challenged part, tough she’s a little on the slow side. This, however, is good since it makes her moe…and pretty funny. All in all I kinda like her.

Sawatari Makoto AKA furfag

It doesn’t get any better than this, fiery temper, tsun-tsun. Yet she had the worse ending in the anime. Goddamn you KEY! If she and Ayu would have swapped places, it would have made Kanon a whole lot more awesome. And her design is very cute but I like Kaori’s design more.

Kawasumi Mai AKA Jesus

I shouldn’t even tell you why she’s awesome. Look at the image: Sad bunny girl. FUCK YEAH. Also she’s the stoic cold loner type. Add a cute design and we’ve got ourselves a winner. She’s also quite the tactical genius:

Remember: when facing demons ask yourself: “what would Obi Wan Kenobi do?”

Kurata Sayuri AKA plaingirl is plaaaaain

Pretty awesome design. On the other hand her cheerful girl personality is kinda plain, but she’s more of a background character. I’d say she’s quite good.

Misaka Shiori AKA Emo Kid

God and I thought it couldn’t get worse then Ayu, how wrong I was. The only thing this girl is good for is depressing people to death. and what’s up with that blanket thing she’s always carrying around? I thought only 80 year olds did that. She dresses like it’s the 50’s, well except for the skirt. I can only imagine how funny it would have been if she walked around in that skirt during the 50’s.

“-DEAR GOD HER KNEES ARE IN PLAIN SIGHT!”

“-SOMEONE ALERT THE ARCHBISHOP”

Comedy gold my friend.

Misaka Kaori AKA Pure Qwnage

Goddamn she’s awesome. She doesn’t take shit from anybody. Everytime she talked to that Yuichi guy I was secretly hoping she’d bust out a knife and stab him right in the eye. Alas it was never meant to be. And her Character design is just plain awesome, that wavy hair is so so awesome.

Just for the heck of it let’s take a look at the gar.

Aizawa Yuichi AKA Kyon

It doesn’t get any gayer than this. Seriously: nobody is that kind. If I’d ever encounter anyone as kind as this guy, I’d do that person a favor and stab him right in the eye (whoa déja-vu). My system has a limit for kindness. If there’s too much kindness around me I have to start punching babies or puppies. This guy made me burn down a whole lot of maternity clinics.

Kitagawa Jun AKA comic relief guy

Now this guy is my kinda guy. And Unlike captain gay he’s got a taste for women. He should have gotten the girl. *Sigh* why don’t the funny guys ever win.

Now let’s move on to reverse-Prozac better known as Air. Also the Kyoto animation version, so that’s the anime not the movie.

Kamio Misuzu AKA Reverse Mr T

Man, I tell you I can’t stop laughing everytime I see that screenshot. I mean; look at that face. Anyway Yin is to yang as this girl is to Mr T , she’ the most pitiful thing ever. There’s no way you can’t feel sorry for her. In fact I’m pretty sure she’s the only Reason Mr T’s pitying doesn’t kill us all, she absorbs all of it. On the other hand she’s super moe, yet AGAIN she has the worst ending. Damn you to hell KEY!

Kirishima Kano AKA no redeeming qualities

Seriously look at her, I don’t even know where to start. Next up.

Tohno Minagi AKA Hypnotoad

I think she’s hooked on the chronic, I mean she talks so slow it’s almost hypnotic. I just can’t…stop…listening…to her…ALL GLORY TO TOHNO MINAGI. Seriously tough, she’s awesome and super moe due to the way she talks. Her design is the best of this series.

Michiru AKA Jailbait

See image, I’m not touching this with a 50 foot pole.

Kamio Haruko AKA your mom is hot

What was the main character thinking man! He should have totally gone for the mom. Everybody would have been happy, well except maybe the daughter, but it would have been worth it.

And to finish it off:

Kunisaki Yukito AKA the lead-singer of that one emo band

Look at that hair man, just look at that hair! Anyway, besides the hair he’s pretty awesome. He’s not the super kind type of guy and he’s a hobo. He’s a little bit gar. But only a little bit.

In retrospect: Air and Kanon aren’t so bad if you’re a masochist or if you’re emo.

21 Mar 2007 JTFish

I’m Awesome

Yes that’s right, I’m awesome. I’m here on this blog to rant about anime manga and possibly videogames in the most subjective way known to man. There’s a lot of anime blogs on the internet but none are as awesome as this one. Who wants to read an analysis of every single episode? I sure as hell don’t. There are only two things that matter and that’s moe and gar, and i’ll tell you just how much of it an anime will sling into your face. So stick around if you’re man enough, or if you’re a girl but no fat chicks.