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24 Jun 2007 JTFish

The truth about Shiori, Finally revealed

For ages man has been wondering: “What disease does Misaka Shiori actually have?” I will explore the possibilities to finally answer this age old question.

Now I may not be a doctor but I’ve seen enough House MD to know how this “diagnose” thing works; all I have to do is be an arrogant asshole…maybe check out her symptoms. Sooooo let’s get started.

• She’s weak and has chronic fevers.
• She carries a bag full of cold medicine because a simple cold could kill her. (Weakened Immune System)
• She’s very thin. (weight loss)
• She’s dying.

Also let’s not forget that Shiori is a depressed wreck that tried to slit her wrists with a boxcutter and sleeps with the first guy she meets for comfort. Speaking of which, let’s take a look at one of her H-scene…now i don’t really remember it very well but I think it went a little bit like this…

Shiori: OH YUICHI TAKE ME NAO!
Yuichi: Hold your horses girl, let me put on a condom first.
Shiori: Oh Yuichi, sex with a condom is so dull. I like to feel men’s hot load inside me.
Yuichi: Wait a minute, men? Aren’t I your first?
Shiori: Of course not silly…
Yuichi: Just how many different guys did you have unprotected sex with?
Shiori: I kinda lost track at 83…
Yuichi: …
Shiori: Why are you staring at me like that?
Yuichi: You said you had a cold!
Shiori: Does it matter? Stick it in me already!
Yuichi: I’m not touching you with a 10 foot pole you crazy bitch, I’m getting my ass out of here.
Shiori: NOOOOOOOO YUICHI I’LL KILL MYSELF IF YOU GO AWAY!
Yuichi: Yeah whatever, I’m getting myself a piece of foxy Makoto Ass.

Now let’s put all these facts together: Weakened immune system, dying and a slut. I think it’s pretty obvious now, it’s AIDS. But let’s look at things on the bright side, once she’s dead she won’t be able to spread AIDS anymore and her sister Kaori will be able to live a happy, Nag-free life. And now if you’ll excuse me I’m going look at Makoto’s CG for several hours.

15 Apr 2007 JTFish

April Anime Avalanche

I hate April and I loathe spring. It’s freaking hot outside and insects starts showing up in huge numbers, damn mosquitoes. Also the streets are flooded with stupid joggers and couples, damn bastards. And because of the damn weather I can’t wear my lucky coat, damn sun. The only good thing about spring is THE NEW ANIME SEASON. It’s the only thing stopping me from going on an all out killing spree…besides lemon flavored ice cream and girls wearing skimpy clothing due to the hot weather. As always I’ve watched episode 1 of most of the new series. I’ll discuss them in short and tell you if I’ll keep watching the series. In no particular order:

Magical girl lyrical Nanoha StrikerS

I’ve been waiting for this ever since A’s ended. Man was it worth it. Why? I’ll tell you why. They combined two of my favorite things: Fate and Huge knockers. Now I don’t really remember everything from the first two episodes. I remember some explosions and then some talky parts, then I kinda blacked out. But then the most awesome sight EVER knocked me awake.

BAM Fate and Nanoha in the same bed wearing nothing but shirts and their underwear. Hell nothing can top this, I can die with no regrets. I’m sooooo watching this.

Hayate the Combat Butler

I’ve been waiting for this to get turned into an anime ever since I read the first volume of the manga. Once I found out Kugumiya Rie was Nagi’s seiyu I almost died of an awesome overdose. Combining Kugumiya Rie’s voice and Nagi is moé overkill. I temporarily went blind when I saw this.

Nagi giggling while fantasizing about Hayate. I still have this image burned into my retina. Also this series is damn funny, the story seems identical to the manga so it can only get better. I’m totally watching this and so should you.

OverDrive

Ok I was skeptical about this, I mean an anime about cycling? What’s next an anime about Figure skating? Oh wait they already did that…an anime about Fishing? Oh wait they did that one too….hmmm…an anime abooouut biathlon (that’s the ski shoot thingy not the cycle run thingy that’s duathlon). God what have I done, some anime studio is probably making that anime this very moment. Anyway, it wasn’t so bad it’s like hikaru no go, only with bikes. I was kinda hoping the ghost of the best cyclist ever would posses the main character just like in hikaru no go. I’m talking about none other then Eddy Merckx. That’s right boys and girls Lance Armstrong isn’t even half the man that Eddy Merkcx is, primarily because Eddy Merckx still has both of his balls (I’m so gonna get flamed for that joke). But then I realized that Eddy Merckx isnt dead yet, soooo that kinda ruins that idea. The love interest-girl keeps the entire thing interesting, she provides the laughs and fanservice.

I’m probably watching this unless it starts sucking after a few episodes.

Nagasarete Airantou

This anime has the best premise ever. One guy stranded on an island populated only by young horny girls. Hilarity ensues. Too…much…awesome…fanservice.

And guess who’s in it? That’s right one of Yui Horie’s many Clone Seiyu troopers. I swear one day Yui Horie and her army of clones will take over the world. Anyway this show is awesome and funny. I don’t even have to tell you, here’s a final screenshot to prove it.

I’m watching this even if it turns out to be Carcinogenic.

El Cazador de la Bruja

Now this thing has Noir written all over it. This is not surprising because bee train, the same studio that made Noir is making this. Therefore this show can’t possibly suck, it’s lesbian girls with guns. So here I am thinking it can’t possibly get any better when suddenly.

That’s right one of the girls starts moaning in ecstasy while wearing a frigging maid costume. If they manage to surpass even that I’ll probably die. Also the music is as awesome as Noir’s. Totally watching this.

Lucky Star

Soooo I still didn’t get past the OP of this series. I had to go into rehab because of it, every time I try to watch the entire episode I keep rewatching the OP for 20 hours straight. The OP is like some sort of super LSD-trip. I’m sure some day I’ll manage to get past the OP and therefore I’m watching this.

Kamichama Karin

This is a series geared towards children. Something I am very pleased about because it teaches them something I deem important: when the opportunity presents itself you should always abuse apotheosis. Remember kids the answers to life is always the third option: APOTHEOSIS (10 brownie points to whoever gets this joke). I can’t wait until they dub this and air it in America.

Those crazy Christian fundementalists will probably go into frenzy. Hilarity ensues. But besides that, everything in this series is too darn cute.

JESUS CHRIST IT’S A LION GET IN THE CAR *Cough* Sorry force of habit. Ali project made the OP which is always a good thing. I’m watching this.

Touka Gettan

I think the animation studio producing this series accidentally mixed up their director and David Lynch. French artistic short movies their stories make more sense than this. And you know your anime sucks if girls wearing garter belts can’t motivate me enough to watch episode 2.

Yeaaaaah that should give you a pretty good idea of how much it sucks.

Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann

This series can be summed up in 3 words: Boobies, Robots and Funny. Everybody loves those things unless you’re a gay Amish goth. Now I have no idea no idea what the story of this series is because I was too busy staring at the main girl’s rack.

Also this screenshot cracks me up.

Yeah you know it , I’m watching this.

Gigantic Fomula

This series just plain scares me. I mean look at their eyes man.

Damn I couldn’t sleep for 2 days after seeing that. Besides it has the stupidest plot ever, it’s like a plot to a CSI episode only with less AIDS. I’d rather stab my eyes out than watch this.

iDOLM@STER Xenoglossia

So I’m watching this series, getting kinda bored by it and all of a sudden a girl starts talking. Guess who her seiyu is? That’s right one of Yui Horie’s many clones. Anyway, I wasn’t impressed by this. It’s just so plain. On the other hand I’m a big Penguin fan and I’m also a big panties fan (that probably came out wrong) so naturally I thought this part was awesome.

Personaly I prefer the pengiun panties. I don’t know if I’ll keep watching this but the pengiun panties are tempting.

Sola

This anime is just plain unfair. It was pretty much boring for the most part until this badass fight starts right at the end of the episode, now I have to watch episode 2 to know how it ends. Anyway the best part about the anime was this.

Karate Chop upside a little girl’s head. I’m all for senseless violence against children. Plus it conditions them.

They’ll know you mean business next time they try to question you. Also I thought I was watching Sola not Rozen Maiden.

This Confused me for a moment. I’ll probably have to watch the entire thing *sigh*.

Darker than Black

Now when I read the title of this anime I thought the plot would be about a bunch of brothas trying to earn their props. Sadly there was only one brotha in it.

Instead it was about some cracka kicking other crackas their asses. Yeah I don’t know it could turn out really good or really bad so I’ll have to watch it until it starts sucking.

Hitohira

I’m sooooo watching this the main character is sooooooo moe. Then it went from awesome to SUPER AWESOME.

Those are both girls by the way. Then I misread a subtitle and almost OD’d on awesome.

Yeah you can probably guess what I read.

Shining Tears X Wind

Yui Horie’s clone army is seriously starting to scare me. Yeah that’s right she’s a seiyu in this anime too. Now I’m mixed about this anime. It’s got catgirls in skimpy outfits, but on the other hand it was pretty boring. So I’ll have to watch it because of the catgirls.

Damn typing this post took long. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna pass out on the floor now.

13 Apr 2007 JTFish

Yaaawwnnn

I finally joined the fine AnimeBlogger Community. I set up my account and changed some settings but now it’s 3 am and I’m really tired. Sooooo I’ll give you guys a moe anime screencap and will post something Tomorrow.

Tomorrow I’ll talk about all the new shows. But right now, I’m going to bed.

Also If the bunny ever closses down Himegimi and decides to reopen it at a later date let it be henceforth known that my himegimi’s will be

1. Suzumiya Haruhi
2. Louise Françoise de la Bamue le Blanc de la Vallière
3. Suiseiseki
4. Sawachika Eri
5. Tohsaka Rin
6. Fujibayashi Kyou
7. Sawatari Makoto
8. Itsukushima Takako
9. Nanase Rumi
10. Watarase Jun

01 Apr 2007 JTFish

DAMN YOU TIME MY ARCHNEMESIS

Yeah I’ll make this short since I’ve written this awesome draft  but I’m too lazy to finish it. Also I don’t have my DVD’s so I can’t take screenshots. So I’ll submit it later. Also I’m probably moving to another host so I probably won’t be updating until the move is official.

1. Nanoha Strikers was awesome, well the explosion parts were not the talky parts.

2.SHANA SEASON 2 ANNOUNCED FUUUUUUUUCK YEAH

3. Damn you subbers sub faster. Yeah I’m ungrateful, sue me.

4. ????

5. Profit

And now It’s time for the first edition of: taking screenshots out of context.

Nigga what?

I see what you did there.

Scientific fact.

Now if you’ll excuse me I have to find a way to increase the speed of light thereby causing time to flow faster thereby getting my hands on the new anime releases faster. I have a Physics Phd you know.

27 Mar 2007 JTFish

Vampire lolis wearing nekomimi? Genius Pure Genius

So I’ve had multiple complaints about the lack of actual moe and gar in my last posts (and by multiple I mean one and by last posts I mean last post). So I’ve decided to submerge you ungrateful bastards with a tsunami of moe. Seriously you guys should be more grateful, here I am working my ass off to spread the word of the one and only true goddess Suzumiya Haruhi -blessings be upon her name- and all you guys do is complain. Anyway this brings me to today’s series: Tsukuyomi -Moon Phase-.

Now the title of this post probably sums up what Tsukuyomi -Moon Phase- is about: Vampire lolis wearing nekomimi. Now I know what you’re thinking: “DEAR GOD SO MUCH MOE WILL DESTROY US ALL!!!”. Yes that’s exactly what I was thinking before watching it, but they actually managed to mix in enough things that will distract you from the deadly amounts of moe: a decent plot, badass fights, comedy and old people firin’ lazerz (but not shooping da woop).

Now before we proceed I suggest you keep some atropine auto-injectors handy in case you suffer from a bad case of moe overdose. Now I don’t know if atropine actually helps in case of moe overdose so Jam the auto-injector straight into your heart just to be on the safe side. That way it’ll spread around your body faster, I should know I’m a doctor you know.

Hazuki /Luna

Now for those of you who haven’t been reduced to a pudle like those nazis from raiders of the lost arc. I don’t even think I should comment this. I mean come on. And you know what? She’s Tsundere. That’s right Tsundere. Whoever designed her deserves a Goddamn Noble chemistry price. I mean he broke the basic chemistry law that dictates that you can’t mix too much awesome together else it turns really really bad. That’s one of two things I remember from chemistry lessons the other thing being: Water+Sodium=Awesome (note: the bigger the lump of sodium the farther away you’ll want to be, we’re talking realllllyyyyy far here).

Spoiler girl

Supporting cast

Did I say one Noble price? I meant 50, hell add in some Pulitzers, golden globes and Oscars for good measure.

And now it’s time for the gar.

Grandpa

Now this guy is probably the most badass old guy ever. He can bust some cool ass moves and fire friggin’ lazerz. I wouldn’t even joke about putting him in a home when around him, he’d probably go Steven Seagal on your ass. And if you’ve ever seen Marked for Death you know why you wouldn’t want that to happen.

Besides all the moe Tsukuyomi -Moon phase- also has a pretty awesome OP and ED you should look it up on youtube for your own good. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to call an ambulance because injecting that atropine directly into my heart probably wasn’t that sma…

25 Mar 2007 JTFish

PS3’s are freaking heavy

As you may or may not know the PS3 was launched 2 days ago in Europe. Needless to say I had to get one. Why? Because I love getting systems on launch. There’s just something satisfying from preventing people to get something they really want. That’s why I got 2 of them. Seriously. What? I’m not kidding! OK OK, that second one wasn’t for me. Anyway right now you’re probably thinking: “that guy is such a PS3 fanboy”. Well I’ll have you know I also bought a Nintendo WRYYYYYYYYYYYYY MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA ZA WARUDO…*COUGH*… sorry force of habit. As I was saying. I also bought a Nintendo Wii on launch. On the other hand I didn’t buy an Xbox360. Why? The Xbox360 is selling like crap in Japan and I mostly play Japanese games, mostly RPG’s. Also contributing to another Microsoft monopoly is retarded, you Xbox owners are digging your own grave I tell you. Remember that time when they were market leader in the browser industry? Yeah as a web-developer I’d rather forget that period.

Aaaaaaaannyywaaaaayyy, it’s about a 10 minute walk from my home to the store so I decided to go on foot. Buying the PS3’s was pretty funny since I paid cash and went all Sean Connery on the clerk. Counting a shitload of bank notes results in an instant +12 charisma boost due to the suaveness of it. Now in retrospect going on foot was pretty stupid. One of those things weighs about 8 kg (SI rools Imperial system drools). It had rained during the night so I couldn’t put the boxes on the ground without getting them wet. Those were the most painful 10 minutes in my life, one of those plastic handles even cut my finger.

To make matters worse, suddenly a horde of ninjas tried to steal the PS3’s. It was a long bloody battle, which was particularly hard because I couldn’t use my hands due to the PS3’s. Some random guy busted out an electric Guitar and started playing this awesome Solo during the fight. By then only the ninjas leader was left. And so we had this really epic battle and there was thunder and lightening and the Guitar guy went like *MEEDLY MEEDLY MEEDLY MEEDLY MEEDLY MEEDLY MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE* on his guitar. And then some other guy busted out his drums and went like *DUM DUM DUMDUMDUM DUM DUM DUMDUMDUM*. Right afterwards I said to that ninja guy: “You’re already dead” and punched him right in the head which exploded on contact. You should have seen how totally not made up the battle was.

Once I got home my arms were so tired I was too weak to open the box. Once I finaly managed to open the box hooking the PS3 up was a goddamn challenge. Carying those PS3’s resulted in a temporary loss of 20 dexterity points, so plugging those cables was next to impossible. After a long bloody struggle, which was particulary hard because the room was pretty dark and I couldn’t really see where the cable were supposed to go, I finnaly managed to turn it on.

After Configuring a few things, I inserted the game I had bought together with the PS3: Resistance Fall of man. Man this game is hard. The AI is totally kicking my ass, probably because I’m not really used to playing First person shooters especially on consoles. Anyway this blog is called moegar so it’s time for some sweet sweet moe check~~~

Hybrid

Weeeeeeellll…let’s see here…I suppose if you’re one of those Furries that go to conventions in those’s fursuits this is probably moe. I mean, you guys get off on everything.

Now if you’ll excuse me I’m gonna play videogames for several hours.

23 Mar 2007 JTFish

Uta Kata: cuteness overkill

Megumi Kadonosono and Keiji Gotoh’s character designs are too freaking awesome. They’re so freaking awesome they turn Uta Kata’s pretty weak plot SUPER GOOD. Then again, watching the main character slowly being corrupted by evil was pretty darn awesome. I’d say Uta Kata is less plot oriented and more of a character development type of ani…who am I kidding, Uta Kata is about the loli fanservice. I highly suggest you watch it, here’re some arguments to convince you.

BAM that should convince you, breasts always win debates. Hell, the day I’m running for office my campaign poster will be a picture of a pair of huge knockers. Oh cra, I forgot women can vote now. Well there goes my dream of legalizing killing people I don’t like ( I’m looking at you, cast of CSI). Anyway if you still aren’t convinced:

If that doesn’t convince you: Get off my site Ricky Martin. There, now that macGay-O is gone, it’s time for some sweet sweet moé check.

Tachibana Ichika

Look at that picture man, I shouldn’t even comment this. She’s just too damn cute, her design is godlike and watching her getting corrupted and power hungry is the best entertainment I’ve seen in months. Did I mention she’s into kinky stuff?

Don’t even ask.

Kuroki Manatsu

That’s it; I’m erecting (lawl erecting) a temple for Megumi Kadonosono and Keiji Gotoh right next to the one I made for Noiji Ito. They could have slacked off and only have made one super cute character. But then they decided to go overkill and made Manatsu. She’s just as cute as Ichika, her design is also godlike and to top it off she has lesbian tendencies.

Damn, first women are allowed to vote, then next thing you know they abolish slavery. Who’s gonna mine the gold for my Gotoh-Kadonosono Temple?

Now onto the supporting cast. I can’t remember their names and I can’t be bothered with looking them up so let’s just call them Tits, Pimp and let’s seeee here…Duncan macLoli.

Goddamnit man I think Gotoh is trying to kill me, everyone is just too damn cute. Pimp has this awesome back hand slap. Duncan is the mysterious wise girl type. And tits has well…tits.

Now you may be wondering, if this series has deadly amounts of cuteness how did I live through it? Taking a look at the gar should answer your question. Enter Ricky and Justin.

Goddamn these guys are gay. And I don’t mean that in the figurative way, these guys are literally gay. Every time I was about to die due to a cuteness overdose these guys showed up and played grab ass with each other. Now, of course they’re not really called Ricky and Justin. They’re just so damn gay, looking up their names would probably give me AIDS.

Why the hell are you still here? Go watch Uta Kata!

22 Mar 2007 JTFish

I loathe Kanon and Air

I hate Kanon and Air. I hate them with a passion. Don’t get me wrong they’re not bad, they’re just too damn sad. Especially Air, it’s like the guy that robs you and then punches you in the kidneys, proceeding to kick you in the liver. Air is the Goddamn saddest thing ever created… ever. Forget weapons of mass destruction, all you have to do is high-jack a TV-station and broadcast Air, you’ll knock the fighting spirit out of the entire country you’re trying to invade. This brings me to my theory: Key’s games are part of one big conspiracy on Japan’s part to invade the western world. Once we’re depressed enough, BAM Japanese coming in from everywhere. Mark my words…mark my words.

Aaaaaaaannyway on to Moe’ness. Let’s Start with Kanon; the recently broadcasted Kyoto Animation version.

Tsukimiya Ayu AKA zombie ghost girl?

I’m probably gonna get flamed for this but goddamn I hate her. She redefines annoying, if I hear Uguu~ one more time I swear i’m gonna…eerrr anyway, she’s also too damn loli for her own good. You heard me - too damn loli - she looks and acts like an 8 year old. While it may be quite moe if I were that Yuichi guy, I’d stab my eyes out for even thinking about going out with her. On the other hand she’s voiced by Yui Horie and that’s always a good thing. Speaking of Yui Horie, I’m beginning to suspect that she’s Santa Claus, she’s in everything these days. But that’s a theory I’ll share with you guys some other day. Mooooving on.

Minase Nayuki AKA mentally challenged girl

I’m just Kidding about the mentally challenged part, tough she’s a little on the slow side. This, however, is good since it makes her moe…and pretty funny. All in all I kinda like her.

Sawatari Makoto AKA furfag

It doesn’t get any better than this, fiery temper, tsun-tsun. Yet she had the worse ending in the anime. Goddamn you KEY! If she and Ayu would have swapped places, it would have made Kanon a whole lot more awesome. And her design is very cute but I like Kaori’s design more.

Kawasumi Mai AKA Jesus

I shouldn’t even tell you why she’s awesome. Look at the image: Sad bunny girl. FUCK YEAH. Also she’s the stoic cold loner type. Add a cute design and we’ve got ourselves a winner. She’s also quite the tactical genius:

Remember: when facing demons ask yourself: “what would Obi Wan Kenobi do?”

Kurata Sayuri AKA plaingirl is plaaaaain

Pretty awesome design. On the other hand her cheerful girl personality is kinda plain, but she’s more of a background character. I’d say she’s quite good.

Misaka Shiori AKA Emo Kid

God and I thought it couldn’t get worse then Ayu, how wrong I was. The only thing this girl is good for is depressing people to death. and what’s up with that blanket thing she’s always carrying around? I thought only 80 year olds did that. She dresses like it’s the 50’s, well except for the skirt. I can only imagine how funny it would have been if she walked around in that skirt during the 50’s.

“-DEAR GOD HER KNEES ARE IN PLAIN SIGHT!”

“-SOMEONE ALERT THE ARCHBISHOP”

Comedy gold my friend.

Misaka Kaori AKA Pure Qwnage

Goddamn she’s awesome. She doesn’t take shit from anybody. Everytime she talked to that Yuichi guy I was secretly hoping she’d bust out a knife and stab him right in the eye. Alas it was never meant to be. And her Character design is just plain awesome, that wavy hair is so so awesome.

Just for the heck of it let’s take a look at the gar.

Aizawa Yuichi AKA Kyon

It doesn’t get any gayer than this. Seriously: nobody is that kind. If I’d ever encounter anyone as kind as this guy, I’d do that person a favor and stab him right in the eye (whoa déja-vu). My system has a limit for kindness. If there’s too much kindness around me I have to start punching babies or puppies. This guy made me burn down a whole lot of maternity clinics.

Kitagawa Jun AKA comic relief guy

Now this guy is my kinda guy. And Unlike captain gay he’s got a taste for women. He should have gotten the girl. *Sigh* why don’t the funny guys ever win.

Now let’s move on to reverse-Prozac better known as Air. Also the Kyoto animation version, so that’s the anime not the movie.

Kamio Misuzu AKA Reverse Mr T

Man, I tell you I can’t stop laughing everytime I see that screenshot. I mean; look at that face. Anyway Yin is to yang as this girl is to Mr T , she’ the most pitiful thing ever. There’s no way you can’t feel sorry for her. In fact I’m pretty sure she’s the only Reason Mr T’s pitying doesn’t kill us all, she absorbs all of it. On the other hand she’s super moe, yet AGAIN she has the worst ending. Damn you to hell KEY!

Kirishima Kano AKA no redeeming qualities

Seriously look at her, I don’t even know where to start. Next up.

Tohno Minagi AKA Hypnotoad

I think she’s hooked on the chronic, I mean she talks so slow it’s almost hypnotic. I just can’t…stop…listening…to her…ALL GLORY TO TOHNO MINAGI. Seriously tough, she’s awesome and super moe due to the way she talks. Her design is the best of this series.

Michiru AKA Jailbait

See image, I’m not touching this with a 50 foot pole.

Kamio Haruko AKA your mom is hot

What was the main character thinking man! He should have totally gone for the mom. Everybody would have been happy, well except maybe the daughter, but it would have been worth it.

And to finish it off:

Kunisaki Yukito AKA the lead-singer of that one emo band

Look at that hair man, just look at that hair! Anyway, besides the hair he’s pretty awesome. He’s not the super kind type of guy and he’s a hobo. He’s a little bit gar. But only a little bit.

In retrospect: Air and Kanon aren’t so bad if you’re a masochist or if you’re emo.

21 Mar 2007 JTFish

I’m Awesome

Yes that’s right, I’m awesome. I’m here on this blog to rant about anime manga and possibly videogames in the most subjective way known to man. There’s a lot of anime blogs on the internet but none are as awesome as this one. Who wants to read an analysis of every single episode? I sure as hell don’t. There are only two things that matter and that’s moe and gar, and i’ll tell you just how much of it an anime will sling into your face. So stick around if you’re man enough, or if you’re a girl but no fat chicks.