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02 Oct 2008 JTFish

Taigasm

So it took one new season of Zero no Tsukaima and one Series containing Kugimiya Rie and Yui Horie AND Kitamura Eri to resurrect me. The reason I haven’t posted since February is because I was in a comatose state. It turns out watching True Tears causes brain damage if said brain isn’t damaged already. It was foolish of me to attempt watching it. My family considered euthanizing me (LEGAL IN BELGIUM) but in a last ditch effort played every episode of the new season of zero no Tsukaima near my comatose body. This managed to make me regain consciousness. But I was unable to move any part of my body below my neck until I saw Tora Dora.

Taigasm

And man was it awesome, not only did it have a character voiced by Kugimiya Rie talking, it also had said character blushing, being mad, sleeping, coughing,  attacking people and calling people dogs. And I think we can all agree that all of these things combined form a masterpiece. Seriously I could stare at these images and listen to her voice all day. Plot is overrated. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m off looping this episode until I drop dead of exhaustion.

03 Jul 2008 JTFish

ERI WINS

ALL YAKUMO FANS ARE INVITED TO MY PARTY, FREE CHAMPAGNE!

21 Feb 2008 JTFish

Reviewing anime on the go!

As none of you may have noticed, I now work for the bunny. I for one welcome our new lagomorph overlord.

Anyway, it’s time to review the new anime Season…

H2O ~Footprints in the Sand~

Despite the trailer promising it, my soul hasn’t been rocked. Except maybe during episode 4, lots of swimsuit action in that one. I planned to write a letter to the producers demanding a refund because of the lack of soul rocking, but then I realised I didn’t pay anything for the episodes nor do I know how to write Japanese. So I decided to take matters into my own hands and make this anime more soul rocking:

Yeaaaah, I’d say I’ve increased soul rocking by OVER 9000%! Anyway, the good points of this anime are: girls getting punched when they’re out of line, trap action, tsundere action and arrogant girl action. Considering all this it looks like I’ll have to give it my thumbs up.

Persona ~trinity soul~

No thanks lady, now get the fuck away from me!

Not since Giant Formula have I seen an anime whose character design scares the crap out of me. And boy does this top Giant Formula; everybody is so damn ugly. The main character and his brother act like little girls, in fact I’m pretty sure his brother IS a little girl. Good thing their big brother -cool guy with glasses- is there to ruin the main character’s shit like a good father figure. None of this brotherly/fatherly love crap, he reminds him that he can throw him out of his house any minute like a REAL father figure. At least that way he’ll build character and stop acting like a scared little girl. Anway, I have no idea what the hell is going on in this anime. Everybody keeps talking about stuff that hasn’t been explained yet and fights consist of people flying all over the place riding(?) their “personas”. Well I’ll continue watching it and see how it turns out.

Spice and Wolf

This series began with an awesome first episode, mainly because the main (wolf)girl was naked 99% of the time. Did I mention she’s some kind of nippleless mutant werewolf thing? Now I suppose she’s the wolf mentioned in the title, but I have yet to see the spice (and I sure hope said spice will flow). Also why did they cast the guy who Voiced Lelouche as the main guy, his voice sure as hell doesn’t fit that guy. Whoever decided it was a good idea must have been pretty damn drunk. The economics and Metallurgy in this anime don’t make a lot of sense as any person who isn’t a complete idiot will notice. Of course I’ll continue watching it regardless of this because it has naked wolfgirl action…no I’m not a furfag.

Shigofumi

You on the other hand are fine too…

Now this series has some nice apathetic loli action. On the other hand the yandere and lesbian action the previews promised was lacking, and there was way too much an hero action in episode 3. All in all it’s quite good if you ignore episode 3 which was almost as painfull as the most painfull form torture known to man (more on that later).

Hatenkou Yugi

This series wins my “anime whose creation required the most LSD” award. I seriously had no idea what was happening in episode one. Some girl gets kicked out of her house and meets some guy and suddenly they’re fighting some ghost. Well at least the main girl is pretty awesome, so I guess I’ll watch a little more of it see how it turns out.

Minamike Okawari

The previous season was so awesome I awarded it my Diamond Seal of approval. But this season is so fucking awesome I award it my…

Now you may be wondering why I awarded it my second highest award and consider it better than the previous season. Quite simply because of more naked Haruka, naked Haruka makes anything better. As was the case with the previous season YOU SHOULD BE WATCHING THIS RIGHT NOW!

Rosario + Vampire

Every series containing vampire girls automatically gets my approval. Every series containing vampire girls voiced by Mizuki Nana, some other character voiced by Kugimiya Rie and a loli saying desu a lot gets my…

That’s my fourth highest award by the way. I will be watching this because I’m a big fan of the manga. If gonzo dares to ruin it they will face my TAIYAKI WRATH. Too bad my taiyaki wrath can’t even scare Ayu away…

Kimi ga Aruji de Shitsuji ga Ore de

Heaps of fanservice? Lesbian Incest? Ubermanly men? Oh you bet your ass I’m watching it. The first episode kinda sucked but I can asure you the next episodes are quality entertainment, unless you’re gay. Wait scratch that, there’s a trap. So even if you’re gay this is quality fanservicy entertainment.

True Tears

I AM THE FAPCHICKEN HEAR ME ROAR!

Everybody told me this series was good, so I ended up watching it despite not liking it. I realised that they were all pulling a big joke on me and telling me it was good to get me to watch it and be tortured. Well the joke is over guys, there’s no way in hell any sane person can think this series is good. I cried because of the mental scars I got from watching this series, I guess that’s why it’s called True Tears. Hell this series so bad, I’m considering writing a separate post about it. You know what? I will!

This post took way too long, probably because I still have mental scars from watching true tears. They’re worse than my Vietnam Flashbacks. Good thing True Tears wasn’t made back in 1939, the allies would have been fucked if the gestapo realised its torture potential. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to swallow several psychoactive drugs to forget True Tears.

17 Nov 2007 JTFish

Fancy Fall 2007 Anime Review

Yeah yeah, I’m late again. Very late considering some series are already half done. I blame Disgaea for PSP. Everytime I tried writing something I somehow ended up playing Disgaea…in some gutter in m00txico. Anyway let’s not waste any more time.

Myself;Yourself

I wonder why there’s a Semicolon in the title; probably to make it look more fancy. I’d never do anything like that; Semicolons are for girls. This anime confuses the hell out of me; one Episode it’s “teh shits” as those fancy young lads say and the next episode it’s shit. And it’s been doing this for 6 episodes; judging from this the ending is probably going to be more emo than a Square-Enix Main character listening to Linkin Park while cutting his wrists because his Ipod was stolen. On the other hand every episode involving the loli is fucking awesome; so I’m probably going to end up watching a series again because of one character I like. On the other hand; the busty squeaky voice megane-ko is fine too…

Bamboo Blade

Now the first thing that came to my mind while watching this series was: “KAAAAAMIIIINAAAAAA~”. Too bad it turned out to be some Teacher and not the third most gar thing in existence (only surpassed by Aizen’s couch and Archer). Everybody watching this anime probably has a favorite girl; there’s moeblob, yandere, loli, tits and megane-ko. Now as you have probably guessed already I’m watching this because of one of the girls: The Moeblob. I mean DAMN how can you resist that face, it’s like a damn Lavalamp. I can’t stop watching her face, it’s HYPNOTIC!

Shion no Ou

Like Hikaru no go only replace the shota, ghosts and gay with Loli, Murder and traps! And like Hikaru no go I have no idea WHATSOEVER what’s happening and still end up watching it. But how could you NOT watch it? I mean a loli in thigh-highs and a megane-ko, that’s a winning combination right there. Also there’s this badass guy with a stubble and you just know he’ll pull off some badass shit in later episodes. Now if only I had an Idea of what’s happening in these boardgame animes…

ef - a tale of Confusion, Faggotery and emo

This screenshot is the only part worth watching of this series, seriously. I fell asleep while watching this anime and woke up 4000 years later only to find out that the earth was ruled by a bunch of ape-men. Luckily me and Charlton Heston kicked their asses, then parted ways because of a heated argument about gun control. THAT’s how boring the first episode was. Anyway, brownie points for anyone who can guess why the screenshot is the only part worth watching.

Kimikiss Pure Rouge

This series is a lot like ef except it’s watchable and doesn’t cause time warping boredom. The first episode was promising because it introduced this pretty awesome girl who I shall henceforth call “the chairman”, and also had some lulz. But the next 2 episodes felt like a soap opera and had a general lack of the chairman. Seriously if I want to see some people go emo over love and relationships I’ll watch *insert name of soap opera containing people going emo over love and relationships*. This is just the standard love comedy multiplied by three minus the comedy, and with that I mean: there’s three guys and somehow the script writers think little girls making their frog dolls kiss is funny. I’m pretty sure said script writers are hooked on the chronic…

Sketchbook full color’s

I can’t decide if I like this show or not, yet I can’t stop watching it. Everytime I think something good is going to happen it NEVER does happen. It always stops right before becoming awesome. For some reason probably related to my mind being fucked up I really wanted to see the bug loving girl in yukata but I got to see everyone EXCEPT her in yukata. Which brings me to my next point, I can’t decide who my favorite girl is! They’re all so awesome. A beach, pool or onsen would probably solve this but at this rate I’ll doubt there’ll be one. Woe is me.

Minami-ke

STOP READING THIS POST, GO WATCH MINAMI-KE NOW. Seriously watch it, hell even people who hold a grudge against anime because their little sister died in a freak anime watching accident should watch it. This series is the opposite of the previous one; everytime I think something good is going to happen something even BETTER happens! Hell this anime is so good, I decided to award it my Diamond Seal of approval.

Goshuushou-sama Ninomiya-kun

Anything containing fanservice and tsuntsun can’t possibly be bad and this principle of course applies to this series too. And any anime containing a P90 gets Brownie point because it’s a Belgian weapon and therefore the BEST weapon one can use. Not that I know anything about weapons. Besides that guns don’t kill people, death does. They die when they are killed. Anyway it gets even better! This anime opens with the main character fighting a freaking bear then he almost gets RAPED by girls! Oh and the main character’s sister is gay for the tsuntsun girl! Truly the script writers of this series know the definition of AWESOME!

Shugo Chara

DESU~! THERE’S DESU~ IN IT DESU~! AND ALSO BOKU DESU~! And it’s an adaption of a peach-pit manga DESU~ Can this anime get any better DESU~?! It can DESU~ They should just kill off every other character so that DESU~ can have all the screentime for herself DESU~ Then the entire series should consist of her saying DESU~ at ALL times DESU~! Also this paragraph has a serious lack of DESU~ DESU~ So let’s DESU~ it up a notch DESU~ DESU~ DESU~ DESU~ DESU~ DESU~ DESU~ DESU~

Clannad

Another Kyoani/key anime aimed at necrophiles. Now besides the usual cast of dying and/or already dead undead zombie ghost girls, this one has the most AWESOME of key awesomedude-type characters. I mean Sunohara is DA MAN! He doesn’t take shit from anybody. He reminds me of a very humble and handsome person, but I can’t quite put my finger on who it is. On a scale of manliness from Shinji to Archer he rates 9.99. Also there’s main girl’s dad who is also quite manly. I’m totally rooting for a Main girl’s dad X Sunohara Ending.

Prism Ark

Do I need to say more?

Ghost hound

Now by now you’re probably wondering “but JT how did you get back from the ape-men ruled future you mentioned earlier!” Well while there I decided to watch some anime considering I now had access to every anime episode ever created. So I decided to start in chronological order and watch some of the new series of this season. So I started watching the first episode of Ghost Hound. It managed to bore me so much that I reached a state of meditation and achieved Buddhist Nirvana in mere nanoseconds attained apotheosis and reversed time. Then using my newly attained powers I created a creature that was half man half bear and half pig and decided right afterwards that my powers were corrupting me so sealed them in a delorean. THAT is how boring Ghost Hound was, Seriously it sucked.

There that was my rundown of this season’s new series. You probably noticed that I skipped some shows, I didn’t discuss the sequels because they’re sequels. I skipped some series because my friend SHOULD be watching them instead of me and give them to me afterwards but as always he’s slacking off (Yes I’m talking about YOU). Also, Kodomo no Jikan never happened. Now I should do a FULL anime review one of these days if I don’t get addicted to Super Mario Galaxy. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to play some Super Mario Galaxy…

02 Oct 2007 JTFish

I’m the new L

http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/news/2007-10-01/notes-left-near-bodies-in-belgium-linked-to-death-note

Goddammit this is what happens when you vote for people with “Christian” in their party name. But nooooooo~ nobody ever listens to me. Well somebody has to be L now and considering I’m Belgian I might as well do it. Why would anyone want to imitate light anyway? He’s a goddamn fag, he kept ignoring Misa! You have to be gay to ignore Misa while she’s wearing lingerie. There’s a 101% chance that the guy who did it is gay. Damn I’m quite good at this “being L” thing if I do say so myself. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a crime to solve.

25 Sep 2007 JTFish

CRAWLING IN MY SKIN

THESE WOUNDS THEY WILL NOT HEAL

Zero no Tsukaima Season 2 ended. I’m so sad right now I started wearing mascara and listening to Linkin Park. I need my weekly dose of Louise or I’ll go into withdrawal. Well at least this Season had Sex…

In fact it had Sex TWICE

Well here’s hoping they make a Season 3 else I’ll have to go to Japan and threaten to kill people’s families AGAIN…if you’ll excuse me I have to go get my shotgun now…

13 Sep 2007 JTFish

Kodomo no Jikan OVA

What’s that? Me actually blogging an episode? Yeah that’s right, the other bloggers forced me to do it. They said they’d only watch Kodomo no Jikan for the “lulz”. But Kodomo no Jikan is SERIOUS BUSINESS™ so it’s my job…NO, it’s my responsibility to HUMANITY to blog about it! This OVA has everything you’ve come to adore about Kodomo no Jikan: an intriguing plot, character development and deep philosophical conversations. And let’s not forget a cameo by everyone’s favorite bear.

Anyway, I was kinda surprised when I heard Generic H-game lead guy AKA kyon voicing reiji. But now I understand why Mimi fell in love with him, he just sounds so…manly. Also naked Ribbon.

Yeah and let’s not forget the awesome Fangs.

Oh and Milk.

And finally boobs.

Yeah I don’t see what’s so “lulz” about THAT, it’s serious fucking business. This shit is as deep. I think it’s based on a book written by Vladimir Nabokov. Hell I’m pretty sure Stanley Kubrick made a movie about it. Bottom line is, if you’re tired of fanservice comedies and want a serious anime about the forbidden relationship between a teacher and his student you should watch this. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to watch this OVA again.

08 Sep 2007 JTFish

Japanese Relationship Simulator

I found this great game today. Basically it simulates Japanese relationships. Here see for yourself…

Yeah the game’s name is Love Death 2 by the way. I couldn’t use the “say hello” function but you can try it yourself (protip: use it while they’re down and can’t fight back or after using the syringe containing “happy fluid” on them). Also I don’t know what kind of crazy system requirements this game requires but ironically it runs better if you turn on Anti-aliasing and HDR, go figure. The framerate still drops to 15-20 if you have more than 4 girls onscreen, which normally doesn’t happen unless you screwed around with the game like I did. Oh I also made this handy save file if you want to recreate this scene, all the girls are in one room, you’ve got all the items, their trust is 100, and all the “scenes” can be accessed in the main menu (requires patch 1.03). Now if you’ll excuse me, I have baseball practice with a bunch of lolis.

24 Aug 2007 JTFish

Introducing the Taiyaki Censoring System

OK OK I’m writing something, damn whiners. I was…on vacation in…errrrr…Persia? Yeah Persia, turns out they don’t have any computers there sooooo I couldn’t write anything. But now I’m back! Anyway today I’ll be talking about my revolutionary invention that will hit the anime industry by storm: the Taiyaki Censoring System. Yes we’ve all hear about the controversy surrounding Kodomo no Jikan, something that could have easily been avoided using the Taiyaki Censoring system. Making Kodomo no Jikan acceptable using the Taiyaki Censoring System would have been a piece of cake as I will now demonstrate.

The Taiyaki Censoring System is even effective on Pedobear.

Yes I know I’m a genius. As you can see the Taiyaki censoring system makes any manga or anime suitable for a western public. But that’s not all, I’ve also made variations for England, the Middle-East and Africa.

Multicultural

Invest now and receive a coupon for taiyaki…and pancakes. Soon I’ll make millions, and with those millions I’ll finally be able to realize my life long dream: Nuking the moon. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go to the bank to check out how many millions I earned today.

27 Jul 2007 JTFish

You guys are sick

This is a Pie chart of what people who end up on my site search for. You’re all a bunch of sick bastards, I mean…”Runningkid”? “Gigantic Formula”? Why the fuck would you google that? “Anime girls wearing garter belts” and “Nanoha Fate lemon” makes perfect sense though.